Worst Ponytail Ever

I saw and photographed this the other day, while riding on the San Francisco MUNI metro transit system. Some kind of strange ponytail/combover hybrid. I'm told it's also known as the "San Francisco Mullet".

Most Random Amazon Recommendation Ever

Amazon sent me an email to tell me that "As someone who has purchased or rated books by Mark Twain, you might like to know that Feminist Engagements: Forays into American Literature and Culture is now available.

I'm sure there is an algorithm in the Amazon database that makes sense of this. The author, Shelley Fisher Fishkin, has "... an appreciation of humor", according to Erica Jong, and Mark Twain was well-know for his way with a joke, so perhaps that is the connection.

New Hope For Retarded Salmon

Why The Terrorists Can't Win

According to a forthcoming book, "SECURING THE CITY - Inside America’s Best Counterterror Force — The NYPD" By Christopher Dickey, the Al Queda terrrorists are fascinated nd inspired by American action movies, particularly "Godzilla" - that is, the crappy 1998 Godzilla directed by Roland Emmerich and starring Matthew Broderick, which portrayed a badly-designed Fauxzilla rampaging around Manhattan. According to the Times review, "Among those who loved it were Qaeda sympathizers and hangers-on in Pakistan and Afghanistan. The scenes of Godzilla stomping across New York City, crushing everything in its path, were mesmerizing and inspiring. One captured terrorist later warned of an attack against “the bridge in the Godzilla movie.” Interrogators had to go rent Mr. Emmerich’s film to find out what he meant: the Brooklyn Bridge."

This raises all kinds of interesting questions which I hope the book can answer - like, what does Al Queda think of "Cloverfield"? Is it just a lucky break for Tokyo that terrorists have lousy taste in monster movies? Is Matthew Broderick, as G-dzilla's movie foe, in danger of attack?

Anyway, it just goes to show what boneheads these so-called "terrorists" are. For sheer terror, how can that ridiculous "tuna head" compare with the original Gojira (as I will always think of him...

Things I Learned From My Phone

Most people know that Andrew Jackson, America's 7th President, was often referred to as "Old Hickory". But according to the iPhone app "USA Manual",he was also called "The Caped Crusader". That's right: Andrew Jackson was The Batman.

Bloody Panda Attack!

Apparently, many people like to climb inside panda enclosures to cuddle with the adorable panda, only to find out the hard way that they are in fact adorable, irritable, deadly killers with razor-sharp claws. This mainly happens in China, because that's where the pandas are. The pandas react badly to these intrusions, and I for one do not blame them. One panda has had to fend off three of these "Human Attacks", to call them by their proper name. For God's sake, people, please - and this goes out especially to all my Chinese readers - please DON'T BOTHER THE NICE PANDA!

Also, a picture of adorable Panda Porn.

My Love For You, Tom Cruise -- A Desperate Chinese Girl's Confession (Kindle Edition)

The Kindle, Amazon's new-ish ebook reader (one of which I own and love) has had the odd side effect of encouraging self-publication (which Amazon makes ridiculously simple) on the part of authors who might otherwise have had difficulty getting published through conventional channels. The book on exhibit today, "My Love For You, Tom Cruise -- A Desperate Chinese Girl's Confession", is one such volume.

I have not read it all - one of the great things about the Kindle bookstore is that they let you download a sample chapter before commiting to buy - and I can't quote the text directly, since Kindle will not let one cut and paste text, and I haven't the strength to type it out. So you just have to take my word that this book fully delivers on it's title, and then some. It is the passionate, no-holds-barred account of one simple Chinese girl's dream of meeting her hero, Tom Cruise. Since there is a picture of them together I suppose she managed it, though you never know these days, with Photoshop and all.

UPDATE: Here is a description from the Amazon page: "My mother and my father did not tell me the name of Tom Cruise; neither my grandma. First, my parents weren’t rich. They were farmers all their lives. Second, I was born in a poor village; it was hard for a poor Chinese girl like me to come to America in the first place.” "My Love for You, Tom Cruise -- A Desperate Chinese Girl’s Confession”, a fantastic journey from the East to the West; an inspirational story about American Dreams. It’s the ultimate expression about Love, Dream and Hope. It reveals the totality of possibilities of human potential. This fascinating book tells the story of a young Chinese girl who came to America after she saw TOP GUN in a poor village of China. Tom Cruise invited her to the M:I3 set after he was moved by her story. And she was also interviewed by E! Television. What happened after she met Tom Cruise? And what has she been going through in the City of Angels? When you read the book, you feel like you’re in an exhilarating journey of your own. It's filled with speed, love, and tears. It’s bitter-sweet, yet compelling and uplifting. “The Message of the book is nothing but inspiration. It's just as important as ‘The Catcher in the Rye,' it’s the second ‘The Catcher in the Rye,' it’s going to liberate America and the rest of the world."

Also: "It’s for everyone who loves Tom Cruise, and for everyone who doesn’t."